If everything goes pear shaped, or worse still nothing actually happens do you have something to fall back on? Another plan? Another route? Another thing you can do?
I bring this up because of a quandary I find myself in.
I've wanted to do some study for awhile now. I'm 30 and I've had numerous jobs but nothing thats got me excited in my soul. I currently work in Aged Care looking after the Aged and Frail in their own homes and while I really enjoy it and get ALOT of job satisfaction out of it, it's not what I want to do for the rest of my life.
I want to study but study what? I've thrown a couple of ideas around but they always come back to one of two things...Counselling and then go on to do a Psych Degree =or= Massage, Reiki and Reflexology. The first option was always my favourite choice, I'm a good listener, my friends always come to me for my advice and I enjoy being able to help them out with their problems. For some reason Bikerman doesn't think that I'd make a good Counsellor (though everyone else I've mentioned it to does!) because I'm so opinionated but I disagree with him and I can actually turn my opinions off (but lets not tell him that!).
I've made some enquiries about a course to get a Diploma in Counselling. It's a course done via distance education, it's self paced (though they say you should be able to finish it in 24 months) and to do it would cost me just over $4000AUD. It would be paid monthly at a cost of $189AUD.
I got the information yesterday and really thought hard last night whether to do it or not. This morning, I had an epiphany. What am I waiting for?
I've put my life on hold and not committed to anything "longterm" for near on 10 years no just "in case" I get knocked up with sprog. I didn't want to get knocked up only to say "oh this is is shitty timing beause of x, y or z". And so I committed to nothing.
This morning I thought, what if I get to my 40th birthday (in just under 10 years) and still no children (if thats the case we won't be having any) and I look back on my life and go "what the fuck have I done with the past 40 years?"
I don't want to get to 40 and have no children but nothing else either. I don't want regrets. I need a back up plan and I think I just found one.....