I knew the day would come. No really I did. I had hoped that some miracle maker would decide to throw me a bone or in my case a little bundle of growing cells but failing that, I KNEW that this day would be inevitable.
Last week, my last childless friend became a Mum. No more childless friends for me. Waving the flag, manning the emergency services and holding government for Childlessville is...well me. I am it. The last resident. The one among us who founded Childlessville and has been trying the longest to leave it, is ironically to become its longest and last resident.
Like Paris Hilton dining with the Royal Famly, I feel an outcast. I was once part of the normal brigade and as I notice the letters a and b being added to the normal banner flying above my head, I find myself in unchartered territory.
My days of long coffees while catching up on the events of life are gone. I will now struggle to hold the attention of a friend, instead our conversations will be peppered with drooling babies, crying toddlers and bored 6 years olds. Sleeves will be tugged, tantrums will be performed for everyones viewing pleasure and any plans a friend and I make may be liable to be changed at the last minute on the whim of a offsprings 'mood' that day.
Of course if I was not a resident of Childlessville all this would not bother me. I would share a giggle and one of 'those' smiles with my 'with child' friends and give a sympathetic "I know, understand and have been there"nod.
However I AM a resident of Childlessville and so my perspective is somewhat tainted. I wish it wasn't but it is.
I think my residency of Childlessville is made worse because unlike alot of the previous residents, I do not have children in my life on a regular basis. I don't have nephews or nieces or young cousins. My former fellow residents of course do have children but they tend to flock together. You know, why hang out with the dried up childless friend when time can be spent with friends with children? They can sit together and chat about subjects related to children, while they smile as their offspring eats it's own boogers, wondering how they managed to produce such a gorgeous obviously talented little person.
My currest status as a resident of Childlessville reminds me of when Miranda in Sex and the City had Brady. Her friends tried to fit her new found status of Mother and Brady into their lives but they struggled. I feel like my friends aren't even trying.
Even Samantha tried.
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