Tuesday, June 23, 2009

XXX



I could say 30 but I think XXX sounds cooler..makes me sound like a super hero or something!

In approximately 1 hour and 34 minutes (NOT that I'm counting or anything - seriously I'm not!) I am going to turn XXX. I will begin my 4th decade of life.

My 31st year on planet Earth will be an exciting one I've decided, full of new challenges and experiences that I've never done before.

I've also decided that its the year that I shed my fat ass and get my hot bod that I've always wanted; lose my negative outlook on life and acquire a positive one and just lived. Didn't live each day for A purpose or to strive towards A goal but in fact just "lived" and enjoyed each day.

Subsequently, my blog will become a "living with no children" blog. I'm not NOT trying, but I'm not trying either, what will be will be and my life will be ALOT better for making that decision. Bikerman and I will go back to being just us, not us hoping to achieve a viable pregnancy. I need to free myself from this weight that has been hanging around my neck for too long. I am and always will be part of the IF community and will continue to read blogs BUT I won't let them control my thoughts or feelings. You know when you read blog after blog and everyone is either struggling with getting pregnant or dealing with loss etc etc and you find yourself getting caught up in it all and it drags you down too? Well not anymore. I will read and relate but also do it detached and removed from it all. I've been there and I've let it take over my life and I can't let it happen anymore, so my friends I will happily read your blogs and offer support and words of comfort when I can and when they are needed BUT I won't take the problems on board which I normally do....thats the problem with being a sensitive soul!

I will still blog about IF from time to time but these posts will also be mixed in with everyday "normal" posts. I hope this doesn't mean that I will lose readers, in fact I hope it means that I will gain some new ones!

I value ALL my readers and really appreciate it when you take time to post comments, it means alot.

14 comments:

  1. Unfortunately, the next decade (where I will soon be) is XL. XXX sounds so much better.

    Happy Birthday!

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  2. I hope this decade is the best one yet. And I applaud you for taking this brave bold step.

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  3. Happy birthday! If it makes you feel any better, you are still a kid in my books at XXX -- I'm pushing L (as in 50). I love your attitude! Check out Irish Girl's blog -- you must be on the same wavelength today!

    http://planbfamilyoftwo.blogspot.com/2009/06/few-and-far-between.html

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  4. Happy Birthday! I took on the triple X this year too. I think it's great that you've resolved to be at peace. Whatever happens.

    And I don't think you will loose any readers because of the decision you've made. I think this community is going to be around for a long time, and you won't be the only one who decides to lead a childless life. I'm sure it wasn't any easy choice, but I am always an advocate for self preservation.

    Hope you have a wonderful day!

    iclw

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  5. Happy Birthday! Just stopping by via ICLW. The IF journey is overpowering and sucks all the energy out of you... and I guess there is life beyond it. Trying to be happy and moving on is another victory over IF! To me the uncertainity and yo-yo effect is what drains the life out of me... more than not having a child of my own at this very moment!

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  6. Happy Birthday! I'll still be reading, and wishing you all the best in your journey :).

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  7. Happy birthday, love! Here's to a WONDERFUL year AND more. I. too, tend to get a bit over sensitive when reading blogs. It's hard to offer support and not let it effect you. It takes a lot of mental work, but it can be done. Good luck, you are SO amazing!
    *HUGS*

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  8. Happy Birthday ! Glad you have found where you are at. Enjoy the new you !

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  9. Consider yourself plus one reader ;-) We are on the same wavelength today!

    Happy Birthday! The XXXs aren't so bad, I swear!

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  10. I had a superhero party for my 30th, it was fun. ICLW

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  11. XXX- it sounds like you're planning on becoming a porn star. :-) Happy XXX-day!

    ICLW

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  12. WOW!!! Just reading your blog description was powerful. "as much as we want to be parents, we don't need to in order to be happy." Sometimes I think that happiness is a choice, and that one can be happy AND go through tragic loss of IF or other loss. Glad to have found your blog through ICLW. AND happy XXX (very sexy).

    Peace.

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  13. Happy Birthday :)

    What a strong post hun; enjoy just living.

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