Thursday, May 7, 2009

The Other Blog

Oh my, it's been nearly a full week since my last post, how slack of me!! Anyone would think that I had a life outside of the blogosphere, which trust me, I do not.

This past week has brought some home truths to my attention. In fact the past two weeks have been very eye opening for me and even though my thoughts and feelings are still extremely muddled and all over the place, I feel like at least I'm heading in the kind of roundabout right direction. I'm not sure the road is the right road but I figure as long as I'm heading in the right direction, even if I am on the wrong road, I can always take a side street and pick up another road further down the track, right?

My Dr referred me for further testing in relation to recurrent miscarriages, you know with my body deciding pregnancy apparently wasn't right for it 4 times over, you'd think it would have learnt after the first time and stopped itself from getting knocked up wouldn't you? But nooooo, not my body it likes to be provocative!

So I got the paperwork back about this further testing, it's at one of the major public hospitals in our city and because it's "public" there is a waiting list. They want to send me for more tests before they will even see me for my first appointment there BUT they were kind enough to send me a nice thick booklet on what I can expect from their program and my future appointment. There was also a nice list of who they won't accept on the program. If you're over 40, sorry no we want nothing to do with you. Already have children? Sorry nope we have no interest in you either. Fat? Go back to the fat farm fatty, we have no time for you.

Muggins here falls into the last catergory. I have to lose weight before they will even see me for my first appointment. And so because of that, I see no point in subjecting myself to more tests if I can't have my first appt before I lose weight.

AND SO......

Exercise weightloss has begun - kinda!



Next week will be my first whole week without any chocolate at all - oh the horror! I feel like I should be washing my own mouth out for that comment LOL that is how much I love chocolate. I think though, that I love my life, my health and my future more.

I'm also in the process of trying to twist BikerMan's arm to let me get a treadmill. I would happily walk on one of those for hours while watching a movie etc etc or listening to music and it would mean that come Winter - which we are heading into, I could still walk to my hearts content without risk of getting drenched!

Once I get my weight under control, my self esteeem will start to return, my head space will clear (I have so much of it LOL) and I'll start to feel better about myself. Once I'm feeling better about myself, anything will be possible.

I'm giving myself to the end of the year to lose the weight.

Come Christmas, I want to weigh around 90kg's (or just under 200lbs).

Typing those numbers is theraputic, though it has made me realise how fucking fat I've become! LOL

And so even though I will be sharing my weightloss journey within this blog, I also have a dedicated weightloss blog too, click here to read and please feel free to drop by some time!

3 comments:

  1. Sending you big hopes for Christmas!!!

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  2. Good Luck! I need to get back on the weightloss train too!

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  3. You can TOTALLY do this! Easy peasy, no problem at all! See? I can be the most annoying cheerleader EVER! How excited that I am in your corner?! I had a dream about you last night. I don't know what happened, but I know you were in it. Weird, huh? I think it means that we are meant to be friends! Have a GREAT day!
    *HUGS*

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