Saturday, May 16, 2009

Oh's been how long?

It has been awhile hasn't it?

To be honest, I just haven't felt like blogging, I do not know why, all I know is that the words and thoughts haven't been flowing and without them, well my blog is pretty boring!

I HAVE been keeping up with everyone elses news tho and reading blog after blog, so don't fear, even though I'm not posting, doesn't mean I'm not reading your blogs because I am.

A trend I have noticed recently is how many IFer's have been getting knocked up with Sprog. There seems to be another tsunami of pregancies hitting the world at the minute and not only that but an IF tsunami of pregnancies, I can count at least 7 that I know of......

It's at times like these that I sit and think who decides who's turn it is to fall pregnant. Why did X fall pregnant now when Y has been trying for longer? And Z, well they've been trying even longer than X and Y put together and they've tried every treatment under the sun so why are they not yet knocked up?

Why does one person to deserve or earn the right to be a parent over someone else? Is there any reasoning for it or is it pure luck?

I look at my friends and people I know through other people and I can pick out who really shouldn't be a parent. Some for glaringly obvious reasons, others for reasons that you'd really have to look for but they are there. And then I look at the few people who I do know who desperately want to become parents and would be absolutely freaking amazing parents and yet they are denied that opportunity and I really can't wrap my brain around it.

It's thoughts like these and examples like these that back up my lack of belief in God. How can he be true if he lets people who really shouldn't be parents have children and those who would make excellent parents not be? But then I think who is he to decide who should experience parenthood? Who am I for that matter?

And then I take a step back, and realise how fucked up my brain is and that I've wasted yet another hour thinking about things that I will never understand and will never find the answer too!


  1. Those questions and thoughts will drive one crazy. We know that, yet we still do it. If only I could get my magic wand fixed...

  2. If only it were about "deserving"... Hell, most the people I know would neither have children nor been born if it was about "deserving" to be a parent. That's part of the injustice of it all...

  3. I have no idea why some people end up pregnant and others dont. It's certainly not because one deserves it over the other.

    I try to believe that it is all in God's plans, but you are right, it can be VERY hard to believe that when you are in the midst of infertility.

  4. It's taken me a looong time to realise that it's got nothing to do with deserving. I really believe that sickeness and death is part of life, it always will be, and most people I know suffer from one affliction or the other, we just have IF to deal with.